Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why cant I motivate myself to go to school (grade 10)?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

I had run out of hope.

Why do some people hesitate to say 'I love you' even after their partners have said it first? How can one interpret this behavior from their loved ones?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Be who you already are.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Who are some good social skills therapists in Pompano Beach, Florida?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Japanese company blames laser tool for its 2nd crash landing on the moon - AP News

You are like me, then.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Greetings from Warsaw, Poland, where the flags are flying ahead of a key election - NPR

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I was tired of fighting.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Can ringing in the ears be a sign of spiritual awakening?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

The sadness was still there.

Why do men suck dick? Me, I can't get enough

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It’s here now, writing to you.

And the sadness?

So THAT'S Why Mosquitoes Bite Some People More Than Others - BuzzFeed

I was tired of trying and failing.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

UNC Pours It On Arizona in Opener, Piles Up Super Regional Record - 247Sports

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s still here.